GoNintendo 'EoD Thoughts' - Cort's Rhythm Heaven (DS) Second Opinion coverage

Cort’s got quite the treat for you today. We have the pleasure of seeing a ’second opinion’ on Rhythm Heaven, and Cort comes to a bit of a different conclusion than I did. Please don’t attack him in the comments too badly! You enjoy his article while I slip off to bed. See you all in a few, short hours. —RMC

Thanks, RMC.

So the other day RMC posted his review of Rhythm Heaven for the DS, presumably the copy from Iwata’s post-keynote GDC ‘09 giveaway extravaganza. I also grabbed one on my way out, totally jazzed because money is tight for me since moving to Cali, and I’d otherwise have no chance to get my hands on it. The gist of his review: excellent. I’ve had some time to dig in, and while I can agree it’s a great concept and game have a pretty different perspective on the it overall. Don’t worry, I’m not going to bash it or sensationalise coverage for page views, because aside from this freebie handout, I get zilch from Nintendo or compensation from this site, so there’s really no incentive other than being completely honest, which you deserve regardless.

Anyway, as I was saying, being one of the lucky jerks who scored a gift copy from the post-keynote stampede, I couldn’t wait to crack it open, give it a whirl and share my experience. That was why Iwata wanted to give them out, so we could evangelise the game and help it be as successful as the Japanese release. So here’s my evangelism:

From the moment I popped this wafer into the backside of my DS, my mouth was climbing Mt. Smirk and my eyes beaming with delight. The bleeps, bloops, chirps and sprites are as a whole more than the sum of their parts. It’s such a charming game.

The first couple levels cemented that delight by exploring a wild new universe revolving around rhythm; each level a solar system of 4 levels with a mashup remix at its centre. The remix is a brilliant concept and elegant solution for a “boss” in a game like this. The only catch is that for most levels (but expecially the remixes) it’s a bit like racecar driving: you will never excel at a track the first time. It’s only after you’ve run a few laps to memorise its details and anticipate certain parts like so much Jedi foresight that earning Superb or Perfect medals will be within reach.

Speaking of which, it took me about 8-10 attempts to score my medal on the first remix. Being the OCD gamer that I am, that meant simply passing with an OK wouldn’t suffice. That only took me two tries, so the actual skill difficulty is completely acceptable. But what happened immediately after that remix completely changed me, and my opinion of the game. It’s also where my opinion and RMC will differ on one major point: controls.

As anyone who’s played the game will know, the first game after that remix is Ping Pong. What can only be described as Rhythm Hell is the experience I had. Why? After a solid 60 tries, I was nowhere near accomplishing even a passing OK rating. So stepping back and pausing for a few days to contemplate the culprit, it came down to one realisation: the “flick”, while admittedly easy to learn, is simply insufficient and for all practical purposes in a rhythm game like this, fundamentally broken as-is.

Let me explain. Every ounce of this game relies on extremely precise timing. So much so that it actually amplifies the imperfections of the human body. Rhythm is a concept of science, based on numbers and math; things machines and software can do with great precision, but that we can only approximate with our faulty internal mechanisms. Compound that with a mechanic like the flick which is very vague: press, hold, and slide the stylus in an unspecified direction for an unspecified distance at an unspecified speed. Doesn’t quite add up to the definition of accuracy if you ask me. So we’re left with a game expecting robotic exactness from a wholly imperfect source using an equally imprecise method.

Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Kill me now.

As it turns out, I did the diligence of running some numbers on my nightmarish Ping Pong excursion. My (literally) blockheaded character will not even react to a flick about 30-40% of the time, letting the ball bounce right into his crotch. 25% of the time he hits it off the table, and the other 35-45% of the time he actually returns the bleeding thing. It seems the game fudges its hit detection for the really fast serves, which are incidentally the ones I’m actually able to return the most predictably.

My rhythm isn’t in question…it’s one of my few impeccable talents in life, though I was humbled from being a world class dancer by also being blessed with teeter totter balance and clumsy lower body coordination. However, thanks to a tip from board member rmurphy, who suggested using my finger instead of the stylus, after exactly 93 tries Ping Pong was no longer an obstacle between myself and enjoying the remainder of the game. Hallelujah.

I’ve heard that the invisible barista can wave his mystical wand if you’re stumped on a level and get you out of jail free so to speak, but I couldn’t seem to trigger that kind of hospitality from him, even after 90+ failed Ping Pong matches. Why this feature and the finger flick isn’t in the manual is beyond me… it would have saved at least me and I’m certain many other players from bewildered frustration.

As I said earlier, these omissions from the official instructions combined with the inadequacy of the actual prescribed flicking controls not just hurt, but fully hindered my ability to even play—let alone enjoy—what is otherwise a superb game. Never has a music game had such controller-smashing mechanics since the shenanigans of Bonelich’s bell-ringing BS in Zack & Wiki. Just because there’s a wacky, undocumented “workaround” doesn’t really fix the underlying problems. Some people love the flick and even get along with it well; I don’t. So sue me.

Aside from the cringe-worthy lyric translations, everything else from the art to the catchy melodies and clever unlockables are exquisitely appealing in that certain strange way that can only seem to be created in Japan. The difficulty ramps up quickly, but in an acceptable manner completely unrelated to the control limitations, similar to a game of Simon.

I’m not quite finished with the game yet, but thanks to help from our community, I’m at least on my way again. I can’t gush enough about it on one hand, but gripe about its controls equally as much on the other. Definitely check it out, you won’t be disappointed. Frustrated perhaps at times for various reasons, but not disappointed.

Rating I wish I could give it: B+/A-
Actual rating: C+