Businesses understand this, so they sometimes choose to soften the language a bit to get their game/movie/whatever into my home. [...] All in all business want to make money, so they make business decisions to get their product into my home.
I think this is the core of the matter. And I think deep down most people understand this as well. This means that the debate is often about whether one is okay with compromise for the sake of sales, or if a publisher/developer should stick with the original idea.
For me, I would like a dynamic censorship solution. A way that both parties are happy. One where I can say, "Here's how much sex, swearing, drug use, etc... that I'm comfortable with" and the game simply adjusts. I lower the meter to more tame and women get appropriate clothes and say "dangit" more. :D You can leave it where you want.
While ideal, I don't think that's financially viable in the sense that this won't bring in many more sales as to be make up the investment it costs to make this system. Also, the ESRB (or whatever ratings board) won't care there are these options and they will rate the content based on the highest available regardless. For example, a game with a curse filter will still have the ESRB rate it for profanity, even though you can filter it out