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Can relate to this text on many levels. Mental stuff is real, exercise can definitly help regaining control, prob even more important now in lockdown times.

Went through something that made even showering the dreaded event for the 7 or 10 days because it took every bit of energy I had.

At times the body protested in its own ways I never imagined possible(mental stuff) even after reading about it briefly, the bodys "protest" kind of made me scared of sleeping/relaxing at that time.

Same with watching /playing stuff I enjoyed, it put a lot of stress into my mind, which I at the time couldn't handle as I was kind of still in survival mode(didnt try Kirby though).
Once there was the kind of 3rd person feeling part you kind of describe, and what I've learned about that is that atleast for me, it was that I was way more tired than I thought I was, gotta listen to those signals.

Went through that, worked out since that was neccesary to come back to my work and strenghten myself, and now i get 100km almost every week in pokemon Go. Just sharing to let you know that you can get through trauma, and maybe get another positive perspective forward!

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