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I was praying for you during your long absence, and I'll continue to pray for you RMC during this road to recovery. I am sorry that you had such a terrible experience and it has put you in such a bad place mentally. Therapy does help, as do medications (if you and the doctor agree it's the right approach). I hope either or both are able to help you regain your happiness and enthusiasm for the things that used to bring you joy. As someone who has struggled with depression and anxiety for most of his life, I know how tough this can be, but just remember that in addition to your family and friends that you have a community here who cares about you and is rooting for you.