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Kevin, i don't know you but i can tell you i went through
some horror because of experimenting with a substance.
i freaked out, had suicidal levels of depression and anxiety
and life has forever changed. I'll never be the same.
however....life gets better, time does heal and the amount of strength you will learn and aquire is priceless.
you will conquer this. you have too. i'm in your corner.