Login

An update on me and the future of GoNintendo

Hey, gang...I hope you're all doing well. It's obviously been quite some time since I up and vanished from the site, and I know you all have a ton of questions. I'm going to tell you everything I can, and also talk about the future of GoNintendo.

To kick things off, I want to say that the situation I was going through is officially over. It was something I never thought I would go through in a billion years, but here I am. I want to stress just as a I did last time, everyone is physically healthy and safe.

As for the situation itself, I honestly don't know that I'll ever feel comfortable talking about it in detail publicly. I know that's disappointing to hear, as I'm sure you guys/gals want to know every single bit of info. I do not blame you for wanting full details, and I know not getting them is frustrating beyond belief. All that said, here's what I'll share.

The situation hit me completely out of nowhere, and it removed me from everyone/everything I'm normally involved with. I don't want you guys to think I just up and left GoNintendo because I was tired of it. You know how important not just GoNintendo, but you guys are to me. This has been my baby for 17+ years and I've come to know and love so many of you. Trust me, it absolutely killed me to be yanked from my life's work and you wonderful people.

I also want to say once again that this took me away from ALL my usual interactions. We're not just talking about work. My friends and family have been in the dark just as long as you guys have, save for a VERY, VERY select few. I vanished from connections with them, and they've been wondering what's going on as well. It's been roughly 1 week since I've been able to come back to "normal" life, and I'm still working on filling in those personally close to me on what happened. It has been unimaginably rough, and quite honestly, I don't know that I'll ever get back mentally to who I was before this.

The matter removed me from every friendship, every work connection, and just about everything I did in my day-to-day life. I cannot stress enough how absolutely traumatic it has been, and continues to be. Even though everything is over and I can move on, I feel like an alien in my own body. Things that I did in life without giving a second thought now absolutely terrify me, and that goes for even the most simple of interactions. Getting the mail, answering a text, having conversations with people I've known all my life, and so on. I feel as though I'm watching myself from third person when I try to go through anything that was part of my usual routine. It's like some sort of out-of-body experience.

Again, I know it's supremely annoying not fully knowing what happened, but hopefully I've painted a picture that shows how horrible this all was, and how it's forever changed me in a very serious way. I'll no doubt be utilizing therapy for many, many years to come, and I have no idea if I'll ever feel like my old self. I hope this doesn't come across as overdramatic or woe-is-me, but I sincerely do not know if I'll ever be the same again. Just typing about it all makes me immeasurably uncomfortable. I spent those 2+ months sitting here worrying about everything, everyone, every thought, every noise, and so on. Even though I'm out from under the situation, nothing in life feels anywhere near normal right now.

Obviously, I'm sure many of you are wondering what this means for GoNintendo. Again, I know this isn't the answer you want to hear, but I really don't know what the future holds. To be 100% honest, I don't see myself getting back to a mental state where I can pick up work normally again. You guys know I worked on the site EVERY single day for the entirety of GoNintendo, so for me to say I don't see a path back mentally means a lot.

That said, I've had so many fantastic experiences through this site...there's honestly too many to count. From meeting my heroes, working with industry legends, covering the company I loved since I was a kid and so on, this has been a dream come true. Of course, the best part has been all of you people. Site readers, podcast listeners, social media followers, and so on. The amount of good to come from you and the site in general has been an incredible gift that gave just as much two months ago as it did on day one.

Unfortunately, I'm really not sure what to do from here on out with GoNintendo. It kills me to think about it ending, but I'm in no shape to push on. Just like many, many other normal things in my life right now, even contemplating diving back in makes me feel physically ill. I know it's trauma from what I went through and I need help to work through it, but as I said, that's going to take some serious time. Even just writing this post has proved extremely difficult. I've been having some horrendous nightmares about a billion things lately, including various GoNintendo stuff. It's all so, so incredibly difficult right now. I'm dedicated to getting better mentally, but I can't put a time on when I'll be in a better state, or how close to normal I'll ever be.

I have options for GoNintendo going forward, and those are things I need to think through. There are soooooooooo many work people I need to reach out to following this mess. Thinking of all the relationships that were severed makes me feel sick to my stomach. Again, I had zero idea any of this was going to happen, so the frustration those work people have felt is echoed by me as well. It's going to take quite some time for me to reach out to people individually and say the various things that need to be said. Trying to rebuild my life is an absolute nightmare that I know will be the toughest challenge I've ever had, and remedying old work connections is very much part of that. It all has to be done, but I have to make sure I do it with the help I need and the time it takes.

I can't say 100% that GoNintendo is dead, but unfortunately, it's not going to be up-and-running as usual anytime in the near future. I don't even know what "usual" would be at this point, as it might not include me. I really, honestly do not know what's ahead. I'll have to figure things out as I go along, and see what solutions and opportunities arise. There might be something that comes my way that makes GoNintendo close to what it used to be, but your guess is as good as mine as to what that would be. I have so much to sift through and put in order, and that very much means personal and work life together.

To be even more transparent, I have no idea what's going on in the world of Nintendo right now. I've picked up a few things here and there, but by and large, I'm completely in the dark. There's never been a time in my life where I'm so uninformed about Nintendo. The same goes for all my passions right now, to be honest. Gaming as a whole, comic books, pro wrestling, and so on. The situation I was in completely removed my interest and drive to learn about those hobbies. Only just now am I getting reconnected to some of those things, but interacting with them just doesn't feel right. Not to be depressing, but those things don't make me happy or engage me like they used to. I've recently played games with friends, but that was definitely fueled by the desire to hear their voices and get back to some level of normal with them. I've also tried playing solo games, but I end up getting extremely uncomfortable and lost in bad thoughts at the same time. Not a fun place to be at mentally at all.

So yeah, not exactly the uplifting and happy post I'm sure you guys were holding out for, and for that I'm truly sorry. Trust me, I wanted that more than anything. The best news I can share is what I stated at the beginning. The situation I endured is over, and all is 100% well. If I could snap my fingers and forget the last few months, then I could pick up work/personal life tomorrow and plow ahead just like any other day. I so desperately want that to be possible, but obviously it's not.

I do want to share a thank you with everyone who reads this post and has checked in on the site the last couple of months. As of roughly a week ago, I had others inform me of all the comments you've shared, discussions you've had elsewhere, social media campaigns you put together, and so on. I'm incredibly touched that you guys care that much about me and GoNintendo in general to do all that. I've always said that I'm just some random Nintendo fan that obsesses over all things Big N, and you guys have been wonderful enough to support me on my journey. To know that your appreciation and care for my work, as well as me in general, goes this far is the most humbling thing I've ever experienced. I've never understood why I've been so lucky to have so many incredible people at my virtual side, and this whole situation only furthers that. You've always been a part of my heart, and that is something I truly appreciate right now.

My apologies for hitting all of you with such a giant post. I hope it helps bring some closure to the situation, and helps ease your mind a bit. Moving forward, I promise to keep you updated on any future for GoNintendo, but I obviously don't know when that'll be. As I said, I have a lot to deal with right now in both personal and work situations. When I have news to share about GoNintendo, you can be sure I'll bring it to you first.

Finally, on a personal note, there's one more thing I want to share today. Do me a favor and spend some time doing something you love and spreading some joy. Play a game online with your friends, tell your family how much they mean to you, take a day trip for a bit of relaxation, and so on. Enjoy life, do what makes you smile, and make sure you try to bring those smiles to others as well. Nothing would make me happier than knowing you guys are loving life and doing well.

Categories: Site Updates

Comments

I know I commented before but I'm gonna miss you kevin and the rest of the crew. You all gave me comfort and laughs off and on for 15 years of my life from when I was in high school to 15 years later. Nothing else I've ever listened to has made me laugh or made me feel comforted the way you guys have. You helped me get through awful times especially the entire time the pandemic hit...thanks again and I'll miss you all

And now that Dtoid is having issues this E3 is going to be very anti social. Going to be wird not discussing with you guys (that also means you , RMC) on the 15th.

kempatsu
Fri Jun 04 21 02:11am
Rating: 3

Consider sharing what you're going through. You might find someone else in this vast network you created that might be able to share some wisdom. Whatever it is you're going through, the only thing I'm certain of is: you aren't the only one.

I'll miss you and the site. Just hoping you can get through this. Everyone here is supporting you!

revenger
Fri Jun 04 21 11:59am
Rating: 2

I am one of those guys you would call „silent reader“. Been here on this site for 16 years, but never posted anything. Come to think of it, that’s over half of my life...

At first, I checked your site daily more than once. Over years as I was getting older, I just came here once a week or month, depending on how much time I have to spare. But after all these years I am still here and still checking your posts, information’s and stories. You were always there making me smile („This is where the magic happens“) or just keeping me updated.

As so many people here I was shocked at your post and checked all the sites I could think of trying to find out what’s going on over there. I am really glad that at least you are back on the right track again. I may be just a stranger to you, but know that you are no stranger to me. You are a big part of my life and you helped me in my darkest moments especially in my younger years. Just know that many people out there feel the same as I do and are thinking of you.

I cannot stress this enough how important it is to get help from others if you don’t know how to continue and I am glad RMC that you got the help you need. Therapists nowadays have one of the most important jobs that people tend to forget. Without my therapist I wouldn’t be where I am right now. If anybody out there feels like they cannot continue for whatever reason, try to get the help from others (family, friends, professionals). You are never alone in what you go through, even if often times it feels like you are.

This is my first post and may probably be also my last one on this site. You probably will not read this post but I am here, always been, thinking about you and I want to give a big thanks to you RMC and just hope the best for your life from here on out.

luke
Mon Jun 07 21 04:55pm
(Updated 1 time)

It is crazy to think that we are about the hit E3 and RMC won't be covering it. I have been an avid reader, watcher, and listener to all thing GoNintendo since early in the Wii years. It's crazy that it has probably come to an end. I just wanted to say thank you one last time. I know all good things must come to an end but I was hoping for a happier ending to the GoNintendo story. If it ever comes back I'll be here, but if not thank you for all the good memories!
-Luke

socar
Tue Jun 08 21 11:32am
Rating: 6

You know Kevin for what its worth...you don't have to can down GoNintendo if you don't want to. You can let someone take over it and while they can never replace your charisma, they can create new adventures for GoNintendo.

Lots of people are fine letting things get taken over by someone else. Matt from Tails Channel for instance gave up his channel to move on with his studies and live a better life while the guy at Tails Channel gets to experience the crowd and keep the channel running

Heck, Gamefaqs is one perfect example. The creator after so long left it and its still running fine the way it is.

This way, your fans will still use GoNintendo the way its intended. Just think about it. In the end though, you make a choice but we all understand it.

mereel
Tue Jun 08 21 03:06pm
Rating: 1 (Updated 1 time)

I second this. It’s almost E3 time. Let’s get the news flowing again here. Clearly there are others who have run the site before during shorter RMC absences. It won’t be quite the same, but at least it doesn’t have to end. Hand over those keys.

Yeah, I'm getting enough of the clickbait titles of certain other Nintendo news sources and how some also censor their comments to allow only their beliefs so I second this too (or is it third now).

enthropy
Wed Jun 09 21 09:47am
Rating: 2

100% agree! I even emntioned it in my first post on this thread. RMC will be back, probably stronger than ever, and it would suck for him that GN would be dead by then. Let the others, and us, keep it going until the cowboy's return!

I hope RMC is taking time to breathe and slowly get his support system back. Whatever the circumstances that put him in that terrible situation, the worst part must have been not feeling able to lean on others and talk about it openly.

Not an easy thing to put behind you, but I hope it well and truly is done with and that he is recovering, day by day. No-one here wants to press for answers, I don't think I've read anything but good wishes and love sent his way in all of these messages, so with a little luck and time hopefully he will feel able to feel more like his old self.

luthlexor
Sun Jun 13 21 07:59am
Rating: 4

I hate to notice that there's no mention of Mom Brain here. I feel like the scenario that best fits this set of circumstance is that Kevin was accused of something quite serious, and that it's taken a toll.

Kevin, if that's true, could you please consider passing the reigns onto someone else until things are okay in your personal life? You've put far too much effort into this site to just let it die. If you come back, it might take months or years. It also might never happen. But let's not let the last decade of work be for nothing. There are passionate fans out there that you drew towards yourself, by virtue of your own passion. They are able and willing to pick up the reigns just where you've left off. They will hold the fort until the time you're able to definitively say whether or not you'll come back.

mereel
Mon Jun 14 21 01:00am
Rating: 1

I feel like the scenario that best fits this set of circumstance is that Kevin was accused of something quite serious, and that it's taken a toll.

Without a doubt that is what happened. Maybe he got #MeToo’d.

What a shame, all of this. I’ve been reading this site for probably 12 years, and during that time I’ve concluded that no one “gaming press” personality has anywhere near the passion and dedication to Nintendo as Kevin does. He was our advocate in this hobby, and very relatable as a human being.

ngamer01
Mon Jun 14 21 01:01pm
Rating: 1 (Updated 1 time)

In the last update post (the one posted by tduck on behalf of Kevin), Kevin said everybody was physically fine. It's only now that Kevin mentioned he's not emotionally fine.

Whatever that has happened, I hope you've got a good lawyer, Kevin, and are working with the authorities if you're being targeted by criminal activity. I also hope you can make it through this and can start moving forward again and be able to enjoy life again, Kevin.

For all we know someone hacked his PC and threw in some shit like child porn.

What makes you jump to that conclusion? He mentioned her in the original post and said they were solving crossword puzzles.

I've been a lurker, a reader, and a podcast listener for many many years, and I'm that time, GoNintendo has been my go to source for my Nintendo news and one of the most entertaining podcasts I've listened to. I could always tell that all of this stemmed from a real love of Nintendo.

I admit I had not checked the site in a few weeks, but with Nintendo's E3 presentation looming tomorrow, GoNintendo came to the front of my mind. I'm sorry you had to go through whatever you went though, and I'm glad that you're taking steps to try to return to a sense of normalcy. While I hope that GoNintendo can eventually make a grand comeback, I also understand that you need to take the time to take care of your mental health.

Stay safe and healthy, RMC.

Thinking of you today, friend. Sending love!

luke
Tue Jun 15 21 11:17am
Rating: 1

Today I'll miss GoNintendo's E3 coverage. I will also miss the following podcast where no matter how good or bad the direct is RMC would be optimistic. RMC always had something he was excited about even in the darkest of directs. Well I hope RMC is able to watch and enjoy the direct along with us.

Hey, oldie over here... May actually be older than this current profile, because I'm pretty sure I started a new one after starting everything I did online over again.
I wasn't here day one, nor was I here month 1, but I certainly was here since the earlier days. Back then, I was hungry for unbiased news about Nintendo, since site after site and forum after forum would slowly (or quickly) turn biased against it. The thing that bugged me the most was when sites would pretend that there was "NO" news whatsoever about Nintendo, that they were just slow, uninteresting, and failing all the time... It frustrated me greatly since I KNEW there was news. I wasn't as crazy-swift as the people posting on this site on the regular, but I definitely deep-dove for Nintendo news on a daily basis. I'd jump from twitter posts, to tumblr, to translator sites, etc etc etc, consuming as much Nintendo news as possible (mostly just to prove to the haters that: No, new things happen with Nintendo all the time, if not moreso than with the other companies)...
I had heard of goNintendo in my going-arounds, but never visited it. But after a particularly quiet day of news (felt like all news outlets were pretending nothing happened with Nintendo that day), I hopped onto gonintendo, and what do you know: at least ten new articles were up that day. I was ecstatic, and I was hooked. Oddly enough, I didn't like most games on Nintendo consoles. If you add up in ratio as to which company I "loved" the most, that would have been Playstation - but that was because of their 3rd party JRPGs... That said, Nintendo had a special place in my heart due to the fun I had whenever I played games with my family (playstation multiplayer games lasted about 30 minutes between us, but nintendo multiplayer games would last hours into the night)... So I was glad to find a place that finally covered Nintendo news without care of the public opinion.
I frequented the site daily, even posting in the comments daily (like I said, most likely not under this name). I didn't quite get along with everyone here, but at least I had a place here in the comments - unlike other places where I was just public enemy #1 for liking Nintendo things.
Point was, i was quite attached to this site! But I had stopped frequenting it a few years ago. Maybe 2015? 2016? Can't remember... What I do remember was that my life was flipped upside-down... I would say "for the better", but I didn't see the "better" part until 2018.
Unlike most people who've experienced trauma, my trauma was more-or-less on the positive-side. Video games dropped their value for me not due to the horror of more important things, but because video games lost almost all significance in the face of the more important changes going on in my life. I actually stopped playing games for a year, and I only went back into it because my family really missed playing with me.
Nowadays, video games, and of course Nintendo, are back in the cycle of my life, but are nowhere near as important to me as they used to be. They're more of a garnish for my life, rather than a favored seasoning/ingredient.

With all that said... (I have a terrible time summarizing, which oldies on this site may recognize) ... I just wanted to share a bit of my life as an example of: Video games are not the most important thing. They're not even up there in the top 10,000 of the greatest things in life. They're just there for fun, and we can use them however and whenever we want.
People's lives are infinitely more important. Your life, your wellness is infinitely more important than anything found in video games or video games news or companies. Companies, games, etc, are made by individual human beings. The company does not define an individual. The work does not give value to the individual. You are not gonintendo. You are you, and gonintendo gets its value from you - not the other way around.

Now that I've said some positive things, it's time to ruin my image a lottle bit (as I've been known to do)... If you have no one to depend on, therapy is vital. But, if you have someone you can depend on, someone close to you who can talk things out with you and (more importantly) LIVE LIFE WITH YOU: Therapy may only slow down your progress in getting better. There's going to be hundreds of people that'll hate this comment, but that's only because they *only* know the method/road/life/solution of therapy. They've never honestly given the other path a fair try (no, don't try to throw any examples that most likely involve ignorant/selfish/neglectful/shallow people... and face it: in modern society, that's 99% of the examples out there).
I broke down mentally twice. I've been to a therapist. I love my therapist, she was very kind, professional, helpful, and even attended a play I had acted in. ... But the advices she gave me skewed how I viewed the ones closest to me - and prevented me from growing with them. The recovery process was indeed safe, but it was horribly slow... Years of reworking everything I perceived just to "feel okay" or at least attempt to convince myself that. It was logical, calculating, tempered, but was eager to remove the "heart" of the matter, because the "heart" - for them - was untrustworthy (at least, my definition of "heart", not the modern perspective of "emotional/social connection")... Due to a lack of funds and time, I did not continue therapy, and ended up bashing heads/hearts/spirits with my loved ones for the next year...... And after they were willing to walk with me, I not only became stable again, but I didn't feel like I was just "masking" my pain anymore - I was actually CURING it.
I'm not saying this to discourage you from therapy (unlike what most people would love to believe against me)... I'm saying to reach out to the ones that you trusted most in the past. They won't understand you, they won't empathize with you, the most they can do for a long time is just pity you or find you really strange... But talk with them, fight with them, argue and discuss with them, get them to see you as you again despite all of the things that make you feel as if you've changed entirely... Break down in front of them... Have them treat you, to see you, as their loved one again...
And then the real growing starts from there.

God bless you, man. Do some real good in your own life. Live with who you are. Don't try to escape what happened. Overcome it.

I hope you got to enjoy all of the Nintendo related content today RMC.

Metroid Dread was easily my favourite highlight, followed by the new BOTW sequel trailer.

Oh wow...sorry to hear, if site goes down, and will be sad, and hope does not go that route, but first and foremost, take care yourself, cause we dont want to see you in a bad state....wishing you all the best, and sorry you had some event happen that was that traumatic.

Been following the site for at least 15 years, earliest I can remember using it was in 2006 (tho I didn't actually register until later).

It goes without saying that you've been a part of my, and many other people's, lives, and I'm really sorry to hear that you've been through this experience. Glad to hear things are hopefully on the west to recovery and rebuilding, and wanted to show appreciation and respect for sharing what you did with us - I can only begin to imagine how nervous and awkward it must have felt typing your post.

As you can see from all the comments, the amount of passion you put into this site and community over the years... it's obvious how much your post has touched us all.

Please start safe and strong, a massive thank you for all the work you've put in, the long hours and labor of love you created here, and wishing you all the best support for the next chapter.

I hope you could enjoy E3 this year, RMC. I hope you're doing better every day!

Yeah I was thinking of you RMC when Metroid Dread, WarioWare and Advance Wars Reboot got announced...you'd be going nuts in this weeks podcast ;-)

Look after yourself mate...I realised something this E3, you're view on it and hard work to present all the information makes it so much more fun. I really haven't felt as engaged with it this year as I have done in previous.

You da man! :-)

Search

Today's VIP

fakehaseo's avatar
Joined: July 2016
Newbie

Social Services

Want to join this discussion?

You should like, totally log in or sign up!